:: Be Mine ::

Mar 21, 2004 20.42 p.m

Wah!!! Still got so much homework to do!! Hehe~ today get to see 5566!!! So happy!! The first person to come out was sun xie zhi i think. Can't really remember cause there were so many people and i couldn't really see. I only remember seeing sun xie zhi's face!! Wah!!! He so shuai!! Haiz~ how i wish i could go down and shake hands with him. Never mind la.. i see him can liao! Hehe~ so shuai!! Lalala~ me go crazy liao! =p Haiz~ if only ken was with me then it would be even better. They even sang Boyfriend~!! Wah~ so nice... >P Okok... better not go crazy first. Then after the entire thing, i went to eat dinner with grace and after that, actually wanted to go library to do homework one but in the end, my brother called me to ask me to go home to close the windows for him cause it was raining heavily. Then i was like "but i'm outside leh!!" then he plead me to go home lor.. i soft-hearted ma~ so i go home lor.. then after that, my mom they all keep calling me to go home. Then i got so damn frastrated then i think i lose my cool. So whenever is my mom call me, i wouldn't even listen to her and i would just raise my voice to ask her to stop calling. But do you think my mom would even listen? NoOoO~ she wouldn't. Then later my brother called and i also cannot take it so i raised my voice too. I was like "i'm on my way home la!! You all too much leh! You all think what?! Want me to go home then i go home ah!? I'm also outside leh!! Why you all can go out while i have to go home?!". Then i just hung up. Then later i remembered buying present for hui zhen so i went to tom and stephanie to anyhow buy something. Then when i got out, i saw see zhong, mao wei and meng zhong. The rest i don't know who they were cause i was rushing to go home. Cause mao wei was facing me, so i called him. Then i think i gave all of them a shock. Hehehe~ then when grace came over to my house, she played the computer. Then i asked her not to press onto something, she went to press it. Then i also don't know what's wrong with me la... i actually lose control then i quietly went to my brother's room to cry. I guess i was just too stressed up ba. Anyway, grace~ it's not your fault... besides after crying, i felt a lot better. Thanks alot. Perhaps i should cry more? Haha~ nah... just kidding! And please hor grace, i didn't copy you!! I just got influenced by you. Then today, i realised a big secret but of course i'm not gonna say it! Duh~ it's a secret, of course i'm not going to say it. Right, grace? ^-* Anyway, grace~ jia you wor!! I'll always support you de!! Then today something funny happened. There's this person sms me and he just asked me who i am. Funny right? I didn't even sms him then he just ask me who i am. Siao kia~ should be i ask him leh! So i asked him back who he is. Then he replied back "who are you? you girl right? what's your name?". I'm like please la~ who the hell are you!? What makes you think you have the right to ask me these kind of questions. So i replied "duh~ of course i'm a girl la! Then you think what? A cow ah? You tell me your name first then i'll tell you mine.". Of course, i'm not going to tell him my name unless i know him la. But the number really look very familar leh. When i replied him that ah, he didn't reply liao. Haha~ i think must be the cow part. =p Ok la.. i guess that's it la. Got to go!

Mar 21, 2004 3.02 p.m

Haiz... really got nothing to do so i'll just write my blog. Actually not really don't have anything to do la~ but is i'm just lazy to do it. Besides, i'm going to meet grace later on. So might as well update my blog first. Today, i went to meet pimin to chat for a while. I don't know why i even want to meet her. Haiz~ me go crazy liao. I'm acting really weird. Then actually i'm supposed to meet ken today but in the end, we're not meeting. Haiz~ then when i came online, i kept changing my nick for no good reasons and it all turned out negative. What the hell am i doing!? And then just now, not long ago i chatted with ken on msn. It wasn't a pleasant chat, that's what i can say. The 2 of us were like completely no mood to chat like that. Then we were like so damn negative. Also don't know why. Perhaps i pms then maybe that's why i'm acting this way. Then it's like when i'm talking to ken, it's like sparks may just start up like that. Like can just start quarreling like that. I also don't know leh. I guess i'm just really not the girlfriend material. I'm trying to like don't know leh... like trying to "do things right"?? But somehow things always gets nasty. I also don't know. I'm always the cause of all problems. Haiz~ whenever something goes wrong, i'm always there and i'm always the one causing all these problems to occur. I guess my brother is right. I'm nothing but trouble. Better still, i'm a jinx. I guess i'm just better off alone. Since nobody likes me in school, i'm better off being alone before i starts pissing anybody off. As for outside, i think i can just stay at home all day long and face the 4 walls. Just be an anti-social person. Seriously, i'm trying very hard to be more "positive" but it seems that i'm failing. I'm going back to the "negative" side of me. Well... i guess that's the real me? I don't know. I find myself acting very weirdly and it's scaring me. I don't even know where's the real me anymore and the worse is which is the real me?! I feel as though i have many faces and so many that i don't even recognise my own face. This is really scary. Whenever people tell me that i'm acting weird and ask me to be the normal me and i want to go back to my normal self, i already don't know which is he/she referring to as the old me. I'm starting to lose myself and this is what's really freaking me out. I'm completely lost. I'm trying to find my way out and at the same time, finding the real me and those imposters. Perhaps... this may even cause me to lose my own mind and don't even recognise who i am already. It could really get that bad since we don't know what's going to happen. You may never know... you may one day see me in the mental hospital. Who knows, right? Okok... i think i had better stop talking about all these before i really go crazy! Boy~ i'm acting so damn weird today. I think i better go get ready since i'll be meeting grace later on at westmall!! And also see 5566!!! Yey!!! Heard from grace just now that westmall is packed! *sobsob* i wonder if i could even go in to see 5566. *Pray hard* Woo~ hope i can get to see them! Hehe~

Mar 20, 2004 9.43 p.m

Aiyaya~!! I say want to update one in the end never update. Haiz.. forget it! Now update also the same la. Hmm~ yesterday went out with grace, ken and qingfeng. Haiz~ actually is ken and i go out de.. but then in the end, i go ask grace whether she want to join us anot. Me very bad hor? I don't know leh.. haiz~ don't know ken whether got mind anot? Sometimes i think i very self-centered, only know how to think about myself and never think of others. Maybe that's why nobody like me ba. Not as in that kind of love that kind of like but as in like unpopular you know? I'm not saying that i want to be popular or anything but i just need some friends. At least i feel that way. Sure~ i've got friends but all from other classes or other schools. From my own class, i think nobody likes me. I don't know why, but they just give me that kind of feeling. Maybe i'm just far too sensitive. What to do?! I'm a pisces. Pisces are always so sensitive and emotional. Argh~!!! What am i talking about?! I was just talking about yesterday and i drag off till so far. Gosh~ i'm acting really weird today and it's freaking me out! So we went to catch a movie and then later on, we went to eat cup noodles for dinner! Can you believe it!? But then, i still had a great time cause i was with ken! Then today, i went to bugis then to orchard with chuan hui and shu yuan. I feel so damn extra! Cause it's like i hardly walked with them. I always had to catch up with them. They can just leave without me. Haiz... i also don't know la. Maybe i'm just being too sensitive. I also don't know la. I've been acting really weird today. Maybe it's because i'm scared of losing more friends ba since i feel that my class doesn't really like me. Another 5 more days and i'll be with ken for 1 month. Haiz... i don't know what's going on with me. I'm acting really strange. I actually went to ask ken whether i've been a good girlfriend! Then he also asked me if 1 day he breaks up with me, will i hate him anot. I tell you, that freaked me out! Now i'm feeling really scared! I'm very scared that he will really break up with me just like how eric broke up with me last time. The last time i stead with eric, he also asked me this question but he didn't ask if i would hate him anot but is what will i do? So when ken asked me this, i'm already starting to get scared. You don't see me like trying to act cool... but actually i'm very scared. My that kind of cool is not like act dao that type leh.. but is like calm calm that kind one. I'm just controlling myself not to get too worked up or emotional. How to control? Example: don't let my tears flow!!! I really don't know how to handle the situation. I really don't know. I don't think i'm even thinking clear enough. I think i had better go wash up my face. Here's a poem i've made. Haiz~ die liao la!! Kanna influenced by grace la! If it's no good, then stop reading it!! I'm never good at these kind of stuff. I think you all should roughly know i compose this poem for who ba.

Knowing this day would come true
I still wish it won't, like a fool
I can do anything for you
Just to hope you don't leave me soon

Mar 18, 2004 11.22 a.m

Hehe~ you must be thinking that how come i'm writing my blog so early in the morning especially when at this time, i'm supposed to be at my remedial lesson. Well... yup! I'm at my remedial lesson. We're having our F&N remedial in the computer lab so that's why i can use the computer. Actually by right, i'm supposed to do my coursework the research. But we're all so concentrated on using the computer rather than doing our coursework. Wahaha~ we baddie kids. =P Hmm... there isn't much to write la. Since it's so early in the morning and nothing much has happened yet anyway so what's there to write?! *pray hard nothing bad will happen* -_- Right now, all of us are using the computer, either playing on friendster or just listening to music and playing don't know what games! Haha~ not all of us are serious. But of course, there are some really serious ones. Really damn serious sia~ they're just there doing coursework.. hahaha~ but then hor.. behind the scene, they also got play on the internet de. But not like us la~ at least they still got priority leh! Haha~ right now as i'm writing, i'm downloading msn messenger on the computer which i'm not supposed to!! Hehe~ hackcare la.. as we care that much like that. Haiz... i can't think up much to work on the coursework. The research i'm doing now doesn't have much help. There's not much information that i need. Haiz... how to do like that?! I hate coursework!! I don't even know how to do them. Asking mrs ngiam is as good as not asking cause she doesn't help me much as well. She does give some advice but then you all know what kind of a person i am la, i very blur one... then the more she say, the more blur i necome ah! That's making things worse, i tell ya! Ok la... i think i better continue go do my coursework and maybe tonight if i'm free, i'll come back and write somemore. Hehe~

Mar 16, 2004 10.21 p.m

Er... yesterday nothing much going on la. Erm~ just finally got my new handphone!! Yey!!! Nokia 3100 sia~! Hehe~ although there isn't much function inside like there isn't any camera function and a radio function but at least it is better than nothing. At least there is mms. Hehe~ i'm so easily contented. Hahaha... i so thick-skinned. But i tried the whole night trying to get online on my phone so that i can download ringtones and wallpapers but in vain. I couldn't find the connection. So i decided "haiya!! Forget it la! I'll go ask the person to help me do it." So today i went to seek help but the person say i must use back the new card to be able to use the mms. So after that, i went back home to faster go change card. Yes!! I thought. I got so excited that i kept getting wallpapers and ringtones like crazy. Hehe~ then today before i went for the e.maths remedial, i asked grace how much she got for her test on vectors. Bi Eng said she topped the class. When i heard this, i was like "wah!! Like that, i sure cannot beat you one ma! Your class, the top beat my class, the top leh! So even if i get top, i'll also lose to you ma." So later when i went back to class, i've got back my test paper. And really leh! I topped the class! Together with ronald and jolene. Wah seh!! I was really fed up! I could have tied with grace or even beat her if i didn't make so many careless mistakes!!! Damn it! But it's quite ironic if you think about it. The 2 of us are seeing who gets the higher marks for e.maths and the both of us topped the class and YET! I lost to her by 1 mark!!! Wah~ really fed up leh.. Hahaha~ but never mind la. Next time, can still try one! Grace~ i'll beat you the next round de!! Hahaha~ then our average marks would be tied again. When jonathan knew that i topped the class again, he was like "Wah lao!!! How come li jing always topped in class one!? Since when she all of a sudden become so smart de?!" so i replied him "It's not my fault ma~". And i told him to jia you to beat me. Must encourage ma... but then hor~ encourage him can la, but he will start saying me one like "Wahaha~ i finally beat li jing liao!!". He's like one crazy pig who have never win me before like that! Siao ah~ i beat him, he starts complaining. He beats me, he starts to "put on air"! Tied with him, he will still say something. Haiz... no matter what, his big mouth will still talk and talk! So... the best thing is to beat him to make him shut up! How?? Hehe~ just starts to say him like "you can win me then say la.". Once i use this phrase, he shuts up his big mouth immediately! Hehe... best way to treat a pig! Ok la.. i've got to go as tomorrow i have chinese remedial. Haiz.. so extra!! It's the only remedial for tomorrow!!

Mar 15, 2004 12.39 a.m

Wow!! I had a great time today! Okok... typo error. It should be i had a great time yesterday! If i say today ah.. that means it's yesterday. I mean for this part la. So how?? Like the new layout!? Nice right? Hehe~ well.. i think it's nice. Chio leh... okok! Enough of my nonsense. Today, i went to celebrate my birthday lor. Went to kbox with cheng peng, yan bing, chuan hui and shu yuan. At first cheng peng, yan bing and i got sing one... but then after shu yuan and chuan hui come liao then all of them very quiet liao. Must be shy la~ then shu yuan and chuan hui left so early!! Haiz... they all so quiet, only cheng peng and i sang most of the time. Then because shu yuan felt so sian so she decided to leave with chuan hui cause chuan hui needed to go home early as her cousins are going over her house. So after singing karaoke, cheng peng, yan bing and i went to the arcade to play. After playing a while, the 3 of us went to the restroom. While getting out of the arcade, i thought i saw qingfeng. Later, the 3 of us took 2 photos together. After that, we went back to the arcade. This time, we saw ken. Haiz... then don't know how come yan bing like no mood like that so she told us she wish to go comic shop first. So we went with her, and after that she went home and cheng peng don't want to be the gooseberry so she left with her. After i met up with ken, we went to jurong to catch a movie. At first, we thought that my mom wanted to celebrate my birthday so i called her to tell her that i was going to watch a movie. Before i even finish talking, she hung up! I thought she was angry at me for not celebrating with her. So later, i called her again to tell her that i'll go home to celebrate with her first then after that, i'll come out again. She tell me "don't want! don't want!". Wah... she sound like she don't want me in the house like that! Then i realised she was actually playing mahjong so this time, it was me who hung up the phone before she did. After watching the movie, ken sent me home. Then we planned to meet up after celebrating with my mom. But who knows?! When i got home, my mom was like "eh!? So fast finish watching movie liao ah!? Aiya... if i know ah.. then should have asked you to buy the cake." -_-|| I was thinking like "huh?! Mummy~ today is my birthday leh. And you want me to buy the cake for myself ah!?" Isn't it ironic? Haiz... my mom always have this weird conception. So i started eating dinner and at the same time, opened up the presents! When i was about to find out what ken gave me.. it was time for me to meet him. Er... we didn't do much la... just anyhow walk walk lor. I shall not go into further details. =p Then later i went to meet up with ruo xuan and wan jing. Both of them gave me a present too. Then when i got home, i continued opening the presents. Ken gave me a necklace and it was really nice! I really don't know how to describe the feeling when i received it. Well... i guess thats about it. Haiz... i haven't got my handphone yet. I haven't even changed it! Never mind la... just wait lor~ it's not like i've not wait before. Hehe~ got to go!